Anxiety

I have a baby growing inside me. I will be responsible for this person for the next 18 years. Of course I have anxiety, lots and lots of anxiety and fears. I gotta say though that if I have to hear one more time that I don't seem happy, I'm going to scream. Why do I have to act happy all the time? I am not going to fake my emotions just for everyone else. I am scared to death! We don't have the money, or the right jobs, or the right house to be parents yet! Everyone says your never really ready to be parents, but I just thought we'd be more ready then we are. We don't have jobs that are really lenient to just call in, or work from home if the baby is sick, we live paycheck to paycheck and the thought of somehow having to pay for daycare is what worries me the most. If we had extra money just hanging around, then I would be ok, but I just don't have any clue how we are ever going to pay for daycare. I can't quit my job and stay home, b/c just putting me back on Clay's insurance drops his pay way down and then we wouldn't be able to make ends meet, so that option is out. My mom would love to quit work and keep the baby, but she lives 2 hours away and so that's out ( I honestly thought that by the time I had a child, I'd live closer to my parents but that hasn't happened either) and Clay's mom still works and she wouldn't quit her job to keep the baby b/c she didn't keep John Reese, Carly or Jackson, so I really doubt she'd keep ours. I'm going to do lots and lots of praying. Wish us luck!!