The first time Connor has picked up a toy

Connor got a new toy ball for Easter and he really likes it. For the first time ever, he picked up the ball and moved it around. Usually, he will maybe hold on or touch for just a split second, but he actually picked this up. His face doesn't look like he's having much fun, but he did. I can't figure out to rotate the video though so its sideways...sorry

Back to work

My first day back to work was actually a lot better than I anticipated. The day started off by having to wake up extra early to make sure I got ready and got Connor ready to leave the house by 7:10. I knew if I was any later, I would be late to work. To my surprise I was actually ready on time and off we went. I took Connor in and took his picture (since it was his first day) and gave him a big kiss and looked in his adorable little eyes and said bye. That was the hardest part, he didn’t cry, he just stared at me leaving while Miss Vicki was holding him. I made it without any tears! When I got to work, I was greeted by Katie and then I noticed a sign on my door that said “Welcome Back” with pictures all around it of me and co-workers. Then, I found out they were getting donuts (chocolate with sprinkles for me). Yummy! It just kept getting better, we went to Olive Garden for lunch and then there was a cookie cake too! Oh and I had balloons tied to my chair in my office. I can’t say thank you enough (Katie and Andrea) for the thoughtful gestures to make my day the best it could be. I actually had a good day and didn’t think that much about Connor being in day care while I was at work. When I got to Miss Vickis to pick him up, she said he had a really good day. He was smiling and just as happy as he could be. However, when we got home, he did have a crying fit for a few minutes (I felt like he was telling me he was mad at me for leaving him, but I know that's not true). Clay also had me flowers and a card for my first day back at work to let me know he was thinking about me. This morning when I took him and he saw Miss Vicki, he smiled, so I felt better about it. I have to say that I have actually missed working these past few months and am glad to get back (but nothing beats hanging out with my little man). This week was only 2 days, next week will be the real test to see how Connor does 5 days straight with Miss Vicki. Here's to a great two days at work!

3 month update

So I haven't posted in a while, so while I have a free minute I will. Connor is now 3 months and growing like a weed. We just this week increased his amount of food to 5 oz and changed out the nipples in his bottles to 3-6 mths so the formula comes out faster. He seems to really like this! He's gotten a lot more squirmier and tries so hard to hold his head up on his own but he still hasn't gotten it. When he lays on his stomach he tries to kick and raise his head to see things and to turn over, he looks like a little superman baby trying to fly (I'll post a pic below). During the day, I let him sleep on his stomach as long as I'm right there watching him. He sleeps so much better like that, and at night of course he sleeps on his back in his crib. At his daycare however, he has to sleep on his back and I know he won't sleep like that, at least not for long. He finally has outgrown all of his newborn clothes and I have them folded and put away. He's officially in 3 mth clothes now and some of them are getting snug lengthwise. He is so long and narrow! The biggest issue we are having right now his is attachment to his paci. He has to have it at all times, unless he's eating. He will wake up from sleeping and cry until someone puts it back in his mouth. We get up countless times in the night just to walk in there and put it back in his mouth. During the day its the same thing. I'm not sure if he's so attached to it because he was in the NICU for so long and that's all he had and they kept giving it to him or what. I've been reading online how to break this little attachment and it seems like they all say the same thing....just do it cold turkey. Clay and I are going back and forth on this one trying to decide if we should give it a try or if he's too young to do it now. But somethings gotta give! Connor smiles all the time, he likes for you to try to make him smile and to laugh with him. I especially love to see him smile when I walk in the room and he looks up and sees me. He looks more and more like his daddy every day. He coos a lot and is most of the time an all around happy little baby. We are so blessed! I go back to work a week from today so I just hope he will adjust well to daycare.

Playing

He's growing up so fast

I have finally started taking Connor on outings during the day and to my surprise he does really well. He just looks around and doesn't really make a sound (unless he is sleepy or wants his pacifier). He likes light now and he likes to look out the window or look up at the lights in the ceiling and it keeps him occupied. I'm so proud of him.

His sleeping pattern is like a roller coaster though. One night he slept all night long for 8 hours and we were so excited, but he hasn't done that since. Last night he woke up every 2 hours =(. He usually averages about 4 though.

I just ordered his little Easter basket, now I just have to decide on what I want his outfit to be.


I have exactly one month from yesterday before I go back to work. It will be so hard leaving him! He's just growing and changing every single day. He's trying to hold his head up on his own, but he hasn't quite mastered it yet.

All Smiles

Connor started really smiling on Valentines Day and he has the cutest little grin!
It is so much fun trying to get him to smile and laugh, his personality is really starting to show.

First Public Episode

So we decided that since our Sunday School class (and Church) is very small, it would be ok to take Connor this past Sunday. It was still chilly outside so we bundled him all up and were on our way. He fell asleep before we even got there so I figured/hoped he would just sleep through the whole class. He did for about 10 minutes. Then he woke up (I think he got hot) and started crying so I walked outside the room with him. He kept getting louder and louder until he was absolutely screaming. I walked downstairs to the front entrance and was doing everything I could think of to calm him down. Did I mention that when I walked out with him, I left the diaper bag with Clay? Bad Mistake. I couldn't figure out why he was screaming, he had just ate and been changed. A lady downstairs kept staring at me and I felt like an idiot who couldn't calm her own child down. Connor is SCREAMING hysterical by now and another lady walked out to see what was going on. I told them about his lack of pooping problem he's been having and they told me a couple different ways to try to hold him to calm him. Finally I said, he probably just needs rocked. Then they say, we have a rocking chair back here in one of the nursery rooms. Once I got him back there and rocked him and talked to him, he finally calmed down. I couldn't wait for Sunday School to end and get Clay and leave. We didn't even stay for church.

That was the first public place we tried to take Connor, and it makes me very hesitant to try to take him anywhere else. What if he decides to have another outbreak like that in the middle of a store? They don't have rocking chairs everywhere I go!!

First Trip to Killen

I took Connor on his first trip to Killen this past weekend to visit everyone up there. I was very nervous to go because Clay decided to stay here to study and work on school work. Connor did great the first hour in the car, then it was like a light bulb went off and he got very upset. I had to stop and pull over about 8-10 times. I changed him, I fed him, I walked him around the car, I talked to him, I sang to him, I tried everything I could think of to make him stop crying but he just kept on screaming. Finally, after calling Clay, I decided I was just going to have to drive and let him cry. So I did. And he cried the rest of the way. By the time we made it there I had a busting headache and was very tired. But we made it safely. We had a great time visiting with my parents, friends, and relatives. My grandparents really enjoyed meeting Connor for the first time. They just loved every minute of it! My parents were overjoyed to have Connor at their house and to spend the weekend with him. I finally let Connor stay in my parents room the last night so that I could get a full nights sleep without waking up to feed him every 3 hours since I haven't had one since he's been born. I was so thankful that my mom wanted to do it. I really needed that sleep! We also made his one month pictures while we were there. I had so many to go through and choose from and they were sooooo good! I can't wait to get them back. My dad spent a lot of time doing them and I'm very appreciative.

It was sad to leave, but I really missed Clay and Clay definitely missed us. He checked in on us constantly! I don't think he wants us to do that anymore without him.

Recent Pictures

Labor and Delivery

Since I never actually posted about my delivery, I will do that now. My water broke sometime in the middle of the night (or at least that is what I thought) so I went to the doctor's office just to check to make sure that is what actually happened on December 17. Of course, my doctor was off that day and I had to see another doctor that I had never seen (Dr. Chwe). He said my water had broken and that we were going to have a baby that day. Immediately I got a little scared. I didn't expect to go into labor that day, I really expected him to tell me that my water hadn't broken and I'd be sent back home. I hadn't even washed my hair that day yet or had my pillow in my car, or even had lunch. I was then told I couldn't leave the hospital, I got wheeled downstairs to labor and delivery and the next thing I knew I had all these monitors hooked up to me. All of this happened between around 11:30-12:30. Ten hours later, lots of ice chips, and an epidural, it was finally time to start pushing. I pushed for an hour and half and then at 11:55 p.m. Connor was born! I was so relived until I realized something was terribly wrong. Dr. Chwe immediately cut the umbilical cord because it was wrapped around Connor's neck several times and he wasn't breathing. Then, several nurses ran into the room and started working on Connor. One of them even made Clay turn off the video camera and stop taking pictures. I was scared to death because I still hadn't even heard him make a sound yet and there was nothing I could do. When they finally got him breathing (2 1/2 minutes later) he was taken straight to the NICU and we were told to wait and they would come give us an update as soon as possible. We waited an hour before anyone came and told us anything. That was the longest most miserable hour of my entire life. I was supposed to be holding my little newborn and taking pictures and cuddling and enjoying this time with Clay, but instead we are just sitting there waiting on news. We had our families with us and that helped a lot, but all I wanted was to hold my little man. When they finally came to tell us he was ok, I was so relieved. They told me as soon as I could walk I could go into the NICU and see him. Within an hour I was up walking and we got to go in and see him. I was then told that I couldn't pick him up or hold him. Again, I was crushed. He had so many tubes and monitors on him, he looked so helpless. We were then told he wasn't digesting his food. Just what we wanted to hear, more complications. It was several days before we got to actually hold him and then when we did, it was only for a very short amount of time. Seven days later, we got to bring Connor home. That was Christmas Eve. It was the best Christmas present we could ask for. Now he is home and doing better every day. He is almost back up to birth weight (6 lbs 13 oz). When we left the hospital with him he was 6 lbs 4 oz.

As far as how I felt through the whole labor and delivery process, it went much better than what I imagined. Once I got the epidural I didn't feel anything. Pushing for an hour and a half was a lot of work, but not painful. All of my pain came after he was here. I have had the worst trouble with my breasts and the massive supply of milk that came in. I wanted to breastfeed, but since he was in the NICU I had pump and take it to him.I had lots of trouble at first, and I was in a LOT of pain! It has finally gotten somewhat better, but I still hurt. I'm not sure how much longer I will keep this up though. Other than that, I'm doing great. I still look very pregnant and can't fit in anything but maternity clothes still. I've been kinda down about that, but I know it takes time and it will eventually get better. Connor was and is worth every amount of pain I had to go through and I would do it all over again for him.